The power of words should never be underestimated. It may be correct that all writings can only show an incomplete aspect of the truth; yet often words are our only means to overcome human limits and form bridges to our divine hearts.

Beyond The Thinking Mind Lies Inner Peace

I got tagged on my instagram account by a friend for a 12wordstory and this is what I came up with:

Those words stand for the so far most important perception of my life: We constantly think about means to get inner peace, happiness, joy, love, maybe even enlightenment without realizing that all the thinking got us in our misery in the first place – and there is no way it will ever get us out. We are not aware and present enough to even realize that our suffering is caused by thoughts, but behind every single emotion stands an (often unconscious) thought, based on an old belief of our mind’s valuation system (according to my understanding love and joy are not emotions, so this doesn’t go for those). A personal example of a situation I got myself into quite often in my past: When I feel hurt and sad because I made an effort for a beloved person and they don’t seem to be really grateful or happy about it, it is my mind telling me that this is not how reality should be; and this imaginary gap between how things are supposed to be and how they really are is what causes my pain. Probably starting with the old belief that people being grateful and appreciating me equals love, my mind pushes me to do things for others in order to get what it thinks augurs happiness. So when those people take the liberty to not react as my mind expected them to, it feels like it is deprived from love and that is the moment the pain and suffering arises. Now what I used to do was trying to think my way out of there, maybe by thinking “okay, that’s it, I’ll never ever make an effort for that person again”, or by trying even harder or trying the same with other people. This is pure madness, isn’t it? Instead of thinking more and more, we should simply let us fall, fall so deep down that we reach the place beyond the thinking mind, the place of our hearts where we can let go of old beliefs and pain and surrender to the present moment. This is how inner peace will arise without any kind of effort. And it goes without saying that I’m not speaking about seeking solutions for math problems when I’m studying for my next exam; this is not an attempt to devalue the thinking mind, which is a brilliant and impressive instrument. It is rather an attempt to re-establish the natural hierarchy with our hearts ruling and our minds serving. Have a blessed wednesday!

Who am I?

Have you ever asked yourself who you are? “Who am I ?”… This may be the most important question in the life of so many seeking people. 

Rather superficial answers like “I am a lawyer, a teacher or a carpenter”; “I am a wife, a husband, a daugher or a brother”; “I am happy, sad, sporty or dull” don’t really seem satisfiying, since these features are subject to change. If we identify ourselves exclusively with them, we are constantly threatend by the unavoidable und always ticking (yet spiritually not existing) time. Which is what makes most people seekers in the first place. 

I myself was not even contented with answers regarding personal characteristics like kindness, inquisitiveness, sereneness and so on, although many people firmly believe in this form of idendity; I just never really felt it…So I kept on looking and without fully realizing it I started a seemingly neverending journey over bumpy roads down my deepest abysses, always getting glimpses of pure love and my true self, that is beyond description or words. 

There are millions of books, spiritual guides and techniques that are supposed to help us find, get to know and ultimately love ourselves, some of which are pure charlatarny and some of which are an amazingly helpful. If we’re lucky, we even have some very close and understanding friends with whom we can discuss and exchange our experiences. However, at the end we are in this alone, each and every one of us. No one can carry our backpacks and walk this road for us. 

The key in my opinion is to always stay kind and curious with ourselves and ask the right question – which is so suitably described in the saga about Percival and the Holy Grail as “the question of the heart”: “What is wrong?”

So whenever I’m feeling sad, lost, pointless, irritated or exhausted I simply try to pause, breathe and ask myself: “Hey, lovely, what is wrong?” By being honest with myself and letting my heart speak to me – even if it is an answer I (or my ego) don’t particularly like – I keep on getting closer and closer to myself. So my advice to everyone who is looking for answers: Keep being curious and kind, never stop digging and going deeper and deeper and always trust that what you will find is worth looking for. 

I wish you all a great saturday!!!

Your Love In My System

There is this kind of love…you know, the kind that you can never really describe and most of your unpublished and deleted poetry is about. You try so hard because it means the world to you, but you just can’t put it into words. Well, here is another piece of mine (plus some additional thoughts) that doesn’t even come close; but it seems better to me than nothing and gives me some relief when I’m overwhelmed and soaked by the intensitiy of emotions…

“Loving you is easy…I never have to plan it, never have to think about it, never have to ask how. It provides me with everything worth living for without any kind of accomplishment – just as I never have to think about how to breathe and yet my body recieves the essential oxygen for survival…I simply know how to do it.

And yet loving you can be challenging…sometimes it feels like the human vessel I got to experience this life on Earth is too small to collect the reams of divine, pure love; flowing from your soul directly into mine. Then I almost fear to burst, not sure how much more I can take…

I love you eternally. It’s as simple and as complexe as that.”

Sweet Awakening

Today I challenged by a friend for the pick-a-letter and one-word-per-line writerschallenge and this is what I came up with…It has a very strong meaning to myself, because I believe that we can always find it in our hearts to forgive ourselves and be at peace with our past at a certain moment in our lives – no matter how ugly or mean or wicked we may have been. And when we do, we awaken, because we feel the love – the love that has always been there…from a different perspective it also means to me that we can look back at any time of our lives and we will always find “us”, our true essence that can never be touched, destroyed or weakend – if only we look with our hearts…💛

Dear Siblings…

I’ve heard so many different stories about the relationships of people with their brothers and sisters, reaching from the most touching and profound bonds to complete estrangement…

I consider myself very lucky to have my big sister, who is two years older than me and has always been taking care of me in an utterly sweet way. However, our close and nurturing relationship has only been growing so tight in the past couple of years, when we both reached adulthood and maturity and seriously started to work on our patterns of behaviour as well as our ego’s escapades. We both felt enormously lost, looking for the courage in our hearts to overthink what we’ve learned from our loving parents or from our former life-teachers in general and walk our own paths – especially because neither of us had an idea where to start or who we were.

Together we started a journey to the very core of ourselves, somehow seperately but always supporting and walking nex to each other. After all, this makes complete sense: Most of our ingrained and often subconscious beliefs that are responsible for our self-destrucive and powerful patterns of behaviour have been formed in our childhood, strongly influenced by our parents (and especially our parents egos), no matter how loving and caring they may have been. Working on this with your brother or sister can definitely provide you a special shelter of comfort and understanding, for they have been there all along and know exactly what you’re talking about. Plus they can easily show you a revealing reflection of yourself that would take quite some time to discover if you had to do it all by yourself.

Long story short – I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for my sister and her constant willingness to work on herself and on us. Our relationship is one of the greatest gifts in my life that I cherish everyday. So if you as well are in a good place with your brother or sister, why not just tell them, pick up the phone and call them? Let them know how special they are in your life. And even if you’re relationship with them is more distant or troubled or non-existent – try to find it in your heart to be at peace with them – even if it is only for yourself. After all – you grew up with them, you know exactly why the are the way they are today 🙂

Letting bad thoughts pass…

Independent Dependency

And I miss you…like the deserts miss the rain🎧

Join me on my journey, darling

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